Super Private Master vs not so private slave.

Okay must learn to be quiet and not bring up personal stuff around others, or let my emotions get ahead of me in public.

I'm not going to divulge the whole damn story. lol We both know what it is.

It's enough to say that He likes to keep nearly everything private, and I'm usually totally open and how I feel is how I feel no matter where I'm at. Usually not a problem for either of us, unless it involves us.

I totally accept that I was in the wrong this time, and I accept that I deserve whatever punishment I get for it. Because I knew going in this is who He is and how he is.

So what I'm thinking is how do I solve this problem in me, so that this will NEVER happen again. Because I'm pretty sure He isn't going to stand for it again and it could be ultimately a deal breaker for Him.

So time to think and time to start paying more attention to how I'm feeling and what the signals I'm putting out are and how I'm going to deal with those emotions and feeling and how I'm going to express them and where and when. EEEEPPPPSSSS that is a complicated task. lol

Fifty Shades of Grey

Reading this book everyone is talking about. Fifty Shades of Grey. Okay at first i was totally put off in the first couple chapters, it's every submissives fantasy story. Young girl meets rich Dominant. OIY! Been there read that, right. 


But further along it starts to get better, and the conversations they have, I have had in the beginning. I do like how she is herself, smart, funny, clever, and brave. That is how it should be in my mind. The goal isn't to take away those things, but add to them. To be who you are, but more. She isn't a doormat sub, she is a person and it comes through in the story. 


Some of the elements are pretty true to life, others are well just a story. But overall I like it. I will probably read the other two books and see how far he takes her. lol Although she does a shit ton of topping from the bottom, maybe that will be addressed later on, have to keep reading to find out. lol 


The only thing I wish about the story is, he wasn't so totally fucking rich. lol and she wasn't so totally innocent. Of all the BDSM stories I've read they are always in this fantasy setting, why doesn't someone write one, using normal people. Well okay not normal, but just everyday people. lol The people we all know that have this hidden life and secret things that they don't show the world. Like the guy at the bank and the chick at grocery store. lol Those people. 

A List of Yes, No and Maybe's

I had to add this as a picture. But it's something to work from and where I'm at right at the moment. Who knows of course this could always change. lol

Day one of this new blog. Okay why did i do this. hmmmmmmm just to record and keep a record of things. How i change, how he changes, what we discover and what we like and dont like. What goes on in my head. I don't know why a lot reasons i suppose. Just another way to keep busy? Maybe, something of a record. 


Will I ever let anyone see it? Maybe. lol Who knows. 


I can keep info here too. Things I'm researching, links all that. Could be interesting, could be boring as hell. lol